Hello all you lovely people! I hope you all know how grateful I am for all of you! I love you guys! Thanks for all the support!

Oh man oh man… what a roller coaster the first full week of being here has been. Experiencing confusion, excitement, loss, disappointment, joy, inadequacy, love, frustration, gratitude, inspiration, anger, peace and overwhelming stress all at the same time has been one heck of an adventure and leaves me scratching my head at times as to why I chose to be here. Why I’m PAYING to be here. And it’s only the beginning! And yet, when it all comes down to it, those moments of joyous success, feelings of God’s infinite love and spectacular spiritual experiences and guidance all outweigh the craziness, stress and despair.

I woke up Sunday morning with a low humming in both my ears. Whenever someone spoke, it sounded quiet but felt like it pierced my eardrums. It especially hurt when I would try to speak. This made it difficult to get into the groove and listen in church, which was really hard. We had a lot of time to get ready in the morning because we didn’t eat breakfast due to fast Sunday. We went to Relief Society first and afterwards had Fast and Testimony meeting. All this we did with our “Zone” which consists of two English speaking districts and a Japanese district. There were about 35 people there at Sacrament Meeting. Lots of people shared their testimonies and some even in Japanese! I wasn’t planning on standing up because it hurt to talk, but the Spirit basically pushed me out of my chair. I told everyone about how challenging the first couple days had been and about the few extra hard things I’d been dealing with that week like a weird pain I had in my leg for a few days which made walking painful, I had lost my shampoo the day before hahaha and I told them about my ears as well. Since coming, I had felt like serving a mission was NOT for me and I felt too weak and inadequate to be there. It had been a trying 4 days and I wasn’t about to do this for 536 more. But being there, listening to their testimonies, english or Japanese, reminded me of why I’m here. The spirit that filled the room as these strong missionaries testified of our Savior, helped me get my head back in the game and straighten my crown. 

This gospel of the Savior Jesus Christ and the joy it brings me is why I’m out here. And guess what?? IT ISNT ABOUT ME! When all is said and done and I am back home, I will find that I had very little to do with the work we do out here. One of the things they tell us out here is that we, by ourselves, truly are inadequate to do this work. We cannot do it without The Savior Jesus Christ. It is not by our strength, but by the strength of our Heavenly Father that we can teach and serve.  

It was an amazing testimony meeting and I have never felt so much peace while bearing my testimony. The rest of Sunday was pretty busy with more lessons, but it was good and we ended with a devotional by the executive secretary to President Nelson, Mark Woodruff. It was amazing and can I just say, President Nelson is the most charitable, loving person on the entire planet. Overall, a very good Sunday.

We had are first TRC’s this week, starting Monday. TRC’s are when we get the chance to teach lessons to people who aren’t members of the church. Sister Anderson and I were crazy nervous. The lovely young woman we’ve been meeting with is named Rayna. She is such a bright soul and genuinely interested in learning about the Savior, which I truly appreciate. We got to know her and her needs and we had the opportunity to explain the Atonement of Jesus Christ to her which she was really interested in. We bore our testimonies to her and gave her a section of the Book of Mormon to read. After our meetings with her, she takes a survey that we can look at to see how she felt we did, and she really enjoyed the lesson! We met with her again on Wednesday and she had read the scripture and even told us what she loved about it! It was amazing! She told us she’s wants to know Christ better and learn more about the atonement. Seriously, we couldn’t have asked for a better person to teach our first lessons to. We taught her the first lesson in Preach my Gospel about the restoration and invited her to read some more of the Book of Mormon and pray about it. In her survey, she said she was touched by our message and felt like if she did what we invited her to do, she would grow closer to Heavenly Father. AAAHHHH!!! I wanted to cry! Never have I ever felt so much love for someone I barely know. You just want them to feel all the joy you feel with the Gospel. It’s truly amazing. Hearing from her and feeling the joy from that success is why I’m here! It was an incredible experience being able to bear my testimony to her. We also had the opportunity to speak with an older gentleman named Brother Dayton who is a member. He told us some things he struggles with and we again bore our testimonies to him the Savior and all he does for us. The spirit was crazy strong and he said he was very grateful for our visit. Seriously so so so amazing.

Aaaaanyway. Honestly it’s so tough out here, I’ve cried so many times and felt so weak. Ive had moments of pure joy and success and moments of complete devastation and loneliness. But my mindset kind kinda switched when we listened to a talk by Elder Bednar about the Character of Christ. Christ turned outward in everything he did. He doesn’t focus on himself but only people around him. He is compassionate, considerate and not quick to anger. That’s something I’m gonna try to work on. Forgetting about myself and what I could complain about and focus on those around me.

Well I’ve written a ton.. I appreciate those who have read this far! It’s a new week and I’m just gonna try to relax and enjoy Preparation day before all the crazy stuff starts up again. But even after all the trials of being out here, I know this is where Heavenly Father needs me to be. He’s blessed my life so much and continues to do so every day and I can see it. I hope you’ve all had a great week and I’d love to hear from you if you have had some excitement in your life! Or if you just wanna chat!

I have a testimony that this is the true, full, restored gospel of Jesus Christ on the earth. Heavenly Father loves me and is aware of me just like he’s aware of you. He wants us to return to him more than anything! And that’s my goal 🙂 Its time to get busy and get lost in the work!

Have a great week everyone!
Sister Abby Oldham