Hey everyone, so I am going to get kinda serious here for a minute. A few weeks ago, I talked about how I have been having some health issues and problems with my vision and stuff like that. This week, I went to see an eye doctor and received some not-so-comforting news.

They did some scans and found a lump in the back of my eye. I won’t go into too many details but the doctor explained that there are multiple possibilities as to what it could be and one of the possibilities is, unfortunately, a tumor.

I’m sure you all can imagine that this was some tough news to hear. Did they tell me I have cancer? Is it for sure a tumor? No and no. And I am grateful for that. But I will be very frank with ya’ll, I have never been so afraid in my entire life.

I have been talking to my companion about it a lot, she wants to help so bad, but I kind of explained what this all feels like. You know when you have a nightmare and there is just an overall feeling of worry, discomfort and stress the entire dream? And when you wake up and realize it was all a dream then it is such a relief and it’s like the weight of whatever happened in your dream just floats away. This whole week has felt like a nightmare. It has been so incredibly heavy. Everything has been a haze since the doctor’s. I have never experience anything like this where it feels like a literal nightmare I can’t wake up from.

The mystery and lack of knowledge as to what is wrong is eating away at me, and the possibility of it being so serious is unbearable to think about. The worst part is that there is nothing I can do. All I can do is wait. Wait for it to get worse or wait for it to go away.

I hate to send out such a depressing email, but this has been draining me and it helps to be able to write it down and all of your support and prayers mean a lot to me. If you all could, please pray for me. Pray this all goes away and it is not serious. That would mean more than you know.

I will say this about this whole situation. The times when I feel okay about everything or at peace, is when I remember my Savior or am lost in His work. Right now, the thing I fear the most is having to leave my mission early. I know this work is so important and I want to serve as long as I possibly can. But I know that Jesus Christ lives and I know that no matter what happens to me that God’s hand is in it and it will all be for my benefit in one way or another.

I am grateful for trials. I know they help me grow and I can learn more about my Savior from this, I know that. All I have to do is ask what it is He is trying to teach me and let Him refine me. Heaven knows I need it😉

Thank you all again for your love and support and prayers. I will try to give yall more of a happy update next week!

Scripture of the week: Doctrine & Covenants 122:7

Get Busy, Get Lost!
-Sister Oldham